I’m 36. I’ve had these dreams and expectations ever since I was a child, and every year, they are never met. I have, over the years, learned to have NO expectations. If I have none, I can’t be let down, and MAYBE one day I’ll be pleasantly surprised. Maybe one day, someone will say all the things I want him to say and do the special little things I want him to do, that make me feel as though I actually mean something. I’m so tired of being in relationships where I’m nothing more than sex. Oh and because I have a child, I’m met with the constant eye roll, as my child is more of a burden to these men. Well, my son is my first priority. He and I are attached at the hip. If you don’t accept him, you can’t possibly fully accept me. And each day that passes I learn that I’m really nothing more than a means for each man I’ve ever loved to relieve tension (in the bedroom). So, I guess my heart is nothing more than a toy. Awesome. But, as each day passes, my walls get stronger and taller. Maybe someday I’ll a person who is willing to knock them down altogether. Someone who will do nice things for me AND my son, just because. Because we mean something to him. Because he wants me to know that he loves me. Because he wants to be responsible for that “Light up the room” smile on my face. Maybe… But until then, I’ve accepted that these are things I am just never going to have. And that’s okay, because I have my son. We are very close, and I cherish our relationship more than any other. I do things for him ALL THE TIME, to teach him to do the same for someone else someday. I want my son to be a gentleman. I want him to treat a woman the way most every woman wants to be treated. He doesn’t have to be a straight A student, or excel in ANYTHING. As long as he’s happy with himself and he gives life his very best, I’m happy with him.
So… the question of the day is: Do you want to be more happy? If so, than lower your expectations. Don’t have any. The fairy tale wedding you dreamed of? Not going to happen. The man who fulfills every fantasy you’ve ever had? Doesn’t exist. The need you have to feel wanted and valued? Nope… you can forget about it. If you do this, there is no possible way you could ever be let down.
P.S. This is especially for you Sammie, in the hopes that you’ll one day read my blog.