I sat outside and had a 3 hour conversation with my boyfriend last night, and it was during this conversation that something changed. I confessed that I didn’t like me and didn’t see or understand how someone else could. My boyfriend is a man of few words, but last night, he listed off several reasons as to why he loves me; sex being at the bottom of the list. I’d be lying if I said a tiny piece of me was convinced he was only in this relationship for the sex. He assured me last night that this is not the case.
I also told him that I’m always hyper and my body movements whether walking or talking reflect the movements of the rapid thoughts racing through my brain. Instead of calling me crazy, he came up with an idea. When we go out now, and he sees me walking fast or talking excitedly, he’s going to slow me down. This way, I can get a better grip on the racing thoughts. It feels like I fell in love all over again.
Today, I went to pick up the new meds (20mg of Latuda) and didn’t really feel the need to take them. I did though. Just in case this is just temporary high due to our talk, or the euphoric high that comes with bipolar. Regardless, I need some kind of back up plan, and so far so good. I’m not allergic to it! That’s a plus. No swelling of the tongue, or any other body parts. So, for today, life is good. I cannot tell you all how much I appreciate your support. I feel like I can better relate to all of you, because you KNOW exactly how I feel, where as those closest to me only know by what I tell them. So, thank you all for being my cheering section. It is very much appreciated. I think I’m going to go back to my original blog and try to writing again, only positive stuff this time.